Saturday 6 October 2012

Seven 'Student Essentials' that really aren't 'Student Essentials'

Most people know I'm a fan of pissing away my money on various online shopping sites. So when it came for my daily bargain check of one of them, I obviously had a look at the 'Student Essentials' section that was advertised. While some of it was appropriate, like study guides, stationary, kitchen bits etc, some of it really wasn't. So, here's my pick of seven 'student essentials' that just aren't.

1. The iPad
While I love my iPod I feel it's incredibly stupid to waste so much money on something that's basically a huge iPhone that you can't make phonecalls on. Before any Apple fans slate my ass, I do know it's 'so much more than that' but seriously, as a student, if you've got a laptop and a phone - why do you need an iPad? No student would have the money to buy an iPad when going back to uni, and if you do, mummy and daddy help you out far too much.

2. 'Fanny and Face' towel
Similar to the 'arse and face' towel, this is aimed at the ladies. However, I know no female that would be willing to use this lets say...properly. And lets face it, if you really do take the 'fanny and face' part seriously, then you're probably not the kind of girl that goes to university, you're more the get a job in Poundland and spending your weekends being fingered round the back of Tesco type.

3. Espresso machine
I have been in several student houses and halls since starting university and I have NEVER seen an espresso machine in them. Again, if you spend £67 on an espresso machine while forking out extortionate textbook prices and your rent, you're an idiot. What's wrong with just chucking a bit of NescafĂ© into a mug and pouring some water on it?

4. £20 toaster
Yes, all students need a toaster. But ours cost £6 in Tesco and it works FINE. Moral: don't spend £20 on a toaster.

5. Anti-virus software
Yes, if you're a boy at uni and you're the creepy type who prefers their girlfriends to be on RedTube rather than actually going out and meeting people, you'll probably need some good anti-virus software. But £70 for one? You are aware if you look around you can not only get them cheaper, but you can get them for free right?

6. Kitten heel ankle boots
I'm not even joking - this was in the student essentials section. Yes, I hold my hands up and say that I've spent a vast majority of my student loan on shoes and clothes, but I most certainly would not consider it an essential.

7. Moleskine notebook 
The world's most expensive notebook. Yes they're pretty, and fancy and the paper's all nice, but really? £20 on a notebook? If you spend £20 on a notebook, it just really REALLY makes me want to punch you. However, if someone bought me one, I wouldn't exactly say no.