Monday 25 February 2013

The truth about university by a bitter third year student

Similar to a post I made a couple of months or so ago, but I feel as I coming to the end of my studies - I have another term left and a few weeks of this one, but no lectures, so it's basically over - I should pull together the final list.

Now, I'm all for people getting an education. By all means, fill out that UCAS form to your heart's content, because believe me, your tutors will not keep their traps shut about it. But: if you're a like me i.e. shy, quiet, several issues and find it difficult to make friends, I suggest you read this before you click on the submit button. Forget all the things your older siblings told you: YEAH IT'S AWESOME, I GOT SO WASTED EVERY NIGHT! YEAH! No. If you are me, that does not happen.

So here's my list of what happens at university. Enjoy. Nb. Please take with a pinch of salt - it's not ALL bad ...maybe 60% crap.

1. Attendance isn't mandatory (well it is, but not legally)
Forget all that crap about how you had to attend school because it was the law - it doesn't apply here! And it's wonderful. You don't even have to give an excuse, just, don't turn up. It's awesome. But really, if you're paying for it, you might want to turn up once in a while. Especially if your modules take your attendance into account  for your final grade.

2. You'll realise you have 0% tolerance for 99.9% of people
As definite as death and paying taxes, you WILL work with assholes, and you WILL have some idiots in almost every seminar you go to. And even if you're the most patient person in the world, you won't be after this.

3. Group work is the be-all and end-all
You'd think because you're paying 18 grand of your money that your degree is all about you doing your own work. No. As above, you'll have to work with assholes because you're still apparently 8 years old and get easily distracted if work with people you can actually stand and get on with. And you'll hear "But in the workplace you'll have to work with people you don't get on with" about a thousand times. That's true, but you get paid for that.

4. Your smart phone will be your best friend
All I can say is, if you don't have a smart phone - get one. Facebook, Twitter, Angry Birds, Chalk Ball, Fruit Ninja, Words with Friends, whatever, they will all be seriously overused by the first few weeks when your lectures start to piss you off. Just put it on silent.

5. There are no jobs
The sad truth is this. There are no jobs. Triple dip recession here. Think of this way - how many people study your course? Think about how many people are studying that same course at all the other universities in the country, plus those who study it abroad. That doesn't leave many jobs at all. If you have a part time job at uni, put away some of your wages if you can, and have something lined up for when you leave, even if it's a voluntary job.

6. There will be plenty of people annoyingly smarter than you
It'll happen. You'll be insanely happy over the B you got in your assignment, then the teacher's pet of the group gets an A+. You'll only just have got your dissertation ethics back - with conditions you need to sort out - they'll be almost done with data collection. You can do nothing, apart from silently hate them.

7. There will also be plenty of people who you'll wonder how the hell they got to uni in the first place
The other end of the spectrum, there'll be several people who really shouldn't be at university. Whether they don't know basic stuff you learned at A-level, if they're in third year and still don't know how to reference properly, or even just soul crushingly unorganised they barely meet deadlines, they will be there.

8. For a shy person: First year is hell
Sorry to say this, but if you're shy and don't make friends easily, first year will not be fun. I never went into halls because I don't like fire alarms going off at 5am, aside from other things which is part of my problem. But seriously, if you're studying at a uni nearby and staying at home, it's not gonna be the best year of your life.

9. You'll realise how much you miss school
Teachers being more lenient with deadlines, drawing shit for your coursework and still getting an A, living rent free with your parents where your meals are cooked and your laundry's done, you'll miss school. The only area where uni wins is 1. the fact you can legally drink and 2. the fact attendance is not mandatory.

10. You'll realise how much your mum did for you and that she's awesome
She kept you for 18 years, and suddenly you're on your own. Paying rent and spending your own money on groceries. And cleaning, and cooking, doing laundry, paying bills. My mum did too much for me and I only realised that once coming to uni, it makes you appreciate her even more.

11. You'll realise you're essentially paying for three years of stress and anxiety
Ultimately it comes down to this. All-nighters on assignments, worrying about grades, what you'll do afterwards etc etc causes sheer panic all round. Happy studying!




Wednesday 20 February 2013

Lifescouts: Pet Owning Badge

I've had LOTS of pets. Mainly cats, because let's face it, cats are awesome. But I've also had rabbits and at one point I had a dog. While uploading pictures of each and every animal I've ever owned would take an incredible lot of time going through boxes of photos and scanning them in with a crappy printer, I'll go through a brief list:

We got Benji the shi-zu when I was a toddler, don't remember much of him, only that my mum got rid of him when I was 3 because he had a rather disgusting habit.

Gromit the rabbit was my first bunny rabbit and I remember distinctly a home video of me stroking him in a box when I first got him and then telling my brother "I'VE GOT FUFFY HANDS!" because I'd been eating trifle...sorry Gromit.

My first cat was Poppy, who I have many pictures of playing along with my weird child games - including her sat in my plastic oven and in a box of books with me. And me cuddling up to her while I'm fast asleep. Sadly she was the first of many cats to have her 9 lives lost on the road outside my house.

There were goldfish too. Dee Dee and Dexter.

Then there was Meggy - named after Meg from Hercules. A beautiful tortoise shell kitty who again loved cuddling up to you.

We then had a change in the form of Twinkle, my first hamster. Literally the most cute and cuddly hamster you'll ever have met. Unfortunately a 'friend' of mine from school left her cage open and she ran away never to be seen again.

We then got Sazzy. She started off as Salem because the lady we bought her from was adament she was a boy. It was only when we saw her getting it on with the neighbour's boy cat we realised she was a girl, so she became Sazzy. The problem with Sazzy was that she was half ferrel, so she ran away a lot. We moved house at one point and a few months later went missing. Another poor kitty to be killed by a dickhead driver, and my mum had to go and 'identify' her when the vets called and said a cat of her description had been brought in.

Me & my Ozzy
Blossom then came along, my second hamster. While she was cute, she liked to bite. A lot. Still, she lived a full 2 years without running away. And I have the awful memory of my grandfather tipping the contents of her little plastic house into a tiny grave in the garden.
Bubbles

Then there was my Ozzy, who've I've spoken about before  because he was such a big part of my life - we had him for 6 years, the longest I'd ever had a pet. Sadly he passed away by yet another dickhead driver a week before I turned 18 and he would have turned 6. I still miss him, and every year on the 29th April (the day he went to the litter box in the sky), I think of him.

Flopsy
Then there were bunnies. Oh the bunnies. Bubbles was a tiny, cuddly thing and was so friendly (at the time, I liked The Powerpuff Girls - hence the names) and then shortly after we got Flopsy, who was much bigger, but she was still beautiful. Sadly both my bunnies went to heaven within a few years, Flopsy in particular was upsetting given that Ozzy had passed away a few months before.


Currently, I have no pets as our landlord doesn't allow them. But my Mum has a cat, Sooty who she's had for a few years now, which makes going home such a joy, especially given how attached he gets. He has a few issues though, he suffers with OCD (yes, animals can get it too) and gets upset really easily if someone he's attached too suddenly disappears - my stepdad used to work as a coach driver and was always going away on trips, poor Soots missed him more than my Mum did!

Sooty at 12 weeks old (or just about)

We're hoping to get a kitten when we leave Northampton in the summer, provided we get a big enough place with a garden and the landlord allows us to, but I see nothing wrong with a cat. So, while I have no pets at the moment, I think I've have definitely earned my pet-owning badge.





Friday 15 February 2013

Banning fun - I mean alcohol - in Northampton

I've recently read that there's proposals for an Early Morning Alcohol Restriction Order (EMRO) in Northampton. Basically, they think there's too many drunks in Bridge Street at the weekend and want to ban the sale of alcohol in clubs and pubs between midnight and 6am.

While there's people probably reading this thinking that I should be the last person to be concerned given that I'm a geek who LOVES to study and have no fun (drawing conclusions from past experience), this is actually something that pisses me off. That's no surprise given that everything pisses me off, but yeah, this does too.

While I openly admit to not being a typical student (something I regret now that my uni days are almost over with and I feel my youth slipping away already by deciding it's time to grow up) I still enjoy a night out with copious amounts of alcohol - what student doesn't? I get where they're coming from in that there are A LOT of drunks in Northampton town centre at the weekend getting violent and puking, pissing and sometimes shitting in the gutter, but not everyone does that. I hold my hands up and say that just over a year ago I wasted the time of the emergency services due to what I still put down to a drink spiking and I feel terrible for that, but I didn't cause any trouble. I didn't batter someone in the street or piss in the gutter and I certainly won't be drinking like that again.

I honestly think that banning booze between 12am and 6am is going to do more harm than good - and I'm not saying that because I'm a student, I genuinely think it's true. First of all, how many clubs will go out of business? It's no lie that clubs get most of their profits from booze - no one's going to want to go on a night out and drink coke all evening, while not everyone goes out to get shit-faced, alcohol is still part of the fun.

They're also trying to make Northampton more appealing for students - but what potential student is going to go to a university where there's a ban on booze after midnight? And the saying it'll restrict alcohol consumption is the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. No it won't, people in Northampton normally don't go out till 10 anyway - who's going to go out for 2 hours? People will just start going out earlier and two things will happen. 1. People will drink quicker, which is more dangerous than pacing yourself - again potentially resulting in ambulances being called and what not; and 2. People will get the same amount of wasted and will start causing fights and shit, but just a couple of hours earlier than normal.

How about instead of a minority of chavvy assholes spending their benefits on Jagerbombs and oranged faced TOWIE wannabes getting so hammered they just don't care where they piss ruining it for the rest of us the police just get tougher on them? Don't punish the majority of students who go out to let their hair down at the end of the week and stay sensible, when you know it's the same sort of people who cause the trouble every week. Not everyone goes out to get wasted, but it's fun to have a drink and get a little tipsy - just not so much that you end up spending the night in a cell or in A&E. Instead of putting a curfew on the clubs, put one on the people. If they're caught fighting or throwing up on the pavement or whatever, put a curfew on them and if they're out after a certain time of night next time, arrest the fuckers.

I really hope this ban doesn't get put into effect but I can see it happening. In which case, I can't see many people becoming students here. And what's next? Refusing to serve people in McDonald's because they're too fat? If they're going to put this heap of restrictive, fun ruining scrotum sack into effect, at least do it for a trial period rather than a permanent one, because I can guarantee that it will not make Northampton safer. If anything, people going out and getting drunk, and then being told they've nowhere to go or that they can't have another drink is just going to spike more trouble. Just leave things as they are.

Monday 11 February 2013

Lifescouts: Zoo Badge

I've been gutted that so many of the Lifescouts badges are things I haven't done - it just goes to show I'm an incredibly boring person.

This month is animal month and the first badge was the Zoo badge. I will try my very best to not sound like an 8 year old at show and tell: I WENT TO THE ZOO AND THERE WERE LOTS OF ANIMALS. HAHAHA.

I've only ever been to the zoo about 5 times. Mainly because the only animals I ever liked were domestic ones, cats mainly. My Dad was the person who took me on my first zoo trip, I think I was 10 or something and we went to Bristol Zoo, not that I remember it all that well. The best part was Seal and Penguin Coast, obvs.

There was a school trip I vaguely remember for art GCSE where we went to Bristol zoo but we weren't allowed to enjoy ourselves, we had to draw every animal we saw otherwise our teacher went insane. Well, my one did. But once you know how to draw a penguin and a parrot or two, you can pretty much cheat your way out of it by saying that's what you want to focus on. I remember we went into this education centre too and they brought out this huge tortoise. That was pretty awesome.

Penguin Bay at Dudley Zoo
My next zoo trip wasn't actually till last year when Liam adopted me Pingu the Penguin for my birthday and we went to Dudley Zoo, which I've mentioned in previous blogs. As much as I like Bristol Zoo, Dudley will always top it for me because their penguin bit is amazing. If you're ever near there, seriously, go. It's awesome. They have the cutest baby meerkats there too at the moment. And owls. And parrots. The parrots are beautiful. There's one place I didn't go though, and never will. That is the reptile house. I don't mind lizards and what not, but show me a snake and I would rather you beat it to death against the wall. Not that I'd even do it myself, because I hate the idea of touching one. Unlike my Dad who once stroked one when he took me to this nature centre once, who then pulled my hand onto it. Surprisingly, they're not slimey, but ewww hate the things.

So that's my zoo story. Conclusions: go visit Dudley Zoo, or Bristol. Whichever's nearest. But don't go on a school trip to one for GCSE art if you have a bitch of teacher. You will not have fun.