Lifescouts: Karaoke Badge

We all love a bit of karaoke. Although no one ever takes it seriously, it's more of a drunken activity at a wedding or family party. Nothing wrong with that, it actually makes drinking quite enjoyable.

When I was a kid I used to belt out the karaoke, I remember one year getting a karaoke machine for Christmas, back when cassette tapes were around, which is just evident how long ago that actually was. Then when I was a bit older I got one of those fancy ones you plug into the TV and the lyrics come up on the screen. Wasn't really used much though.

I've always been to shy to do karaoke drunk, let alone sober so I rarely do it anymore now that I'm an adult and have inhibitions and all that crap. Although that's not to say I don't belt out a good Glee number when I've got the flat to myself. I do a kickass It's All Coming Back to Me Now. You think I'm joking. I'm really not.

Lifescouts: Songwriting Badge

Before I get "oh my God, you're so deep" comments may I please just clear up one thing: I was 14 so these 'songs' were in no way lyrical genius, but here's the story.

Every year at our school we'd have something called the Rock Concert. Unique name, I know. Basically it was where all the talented kids would take to the stage and showcase their awesomeness - or rather, big-headedness. Every year they'd have a song writing competition and first prize would win a spot performing at the rock concert and would get to record an album which people could buy on the night.

Don't ask why this idiotic idea came into our minds, but me and a friend (who shall not be named given that we're no longer friends, given several incidents of subsequent bullying before she finally left and stopped making my life hell - but that's another story which I don't think is wise to post over the internet) decided to enter said competition and we met up to brainstorm ideas.

Basically the song we came up with was a similar theme to I'm With You by Avril Lavigne - and before I get sued, the melody and lyrics were completely different - for some reason that's the song I've always thought it was like. Similar premise "Oh I'm so alone, everyone's in couples WAH" - but looking back now these are the same sort of lyrics that Justin Bieber is hated so much for, complaining about relationships and feelings and all that crap - but you're 13 so it doesn't actually matter.

Anyway we recorded that one song and we had a sleepover one evening and well the music just kept on coming - I tell you, we wrote some lame ass songs which I won't go into. But we must have done something right because we came in third.

While this is one of the more embarrassing teenage experiences, I think it's safe to say I have earned my songwriting badge. Now let's never speak of this again.

Lifescouts: Keyboard Badge

When I was about 12, we started having keyboard lessons in music, and don't ask why, but it ended up with my Mum getting me a keyboard with both of us assuming I'd found my niche.

Unfortunately, it didn't go that well. I just about passed my keyboard assessment in music which involved getting as far as a song called "Pineapple Chunks" (I hate that word) which was level 6 I think I recall, and at home I'd been bought a book of songs to play which was incredibly more complicated than the stuff I'd learnt at school.

My Grandad plays the organ, so for a bit tried to teach me, but it didn't go well and unfortunately was something I never quite kept up. He loved playing my keyboard though. As did my Mum, who taught herself to play Moon River and the theme from Titanic. 

To this day, I can't remember where that keyboard went, but I can play the first few lines of My Heart Will Go On. Yes, I'm not very musical, but it still counts!

Lifescouts: Performing on a Stage Badge

I've gotten a little behind in my Lifescouts badges lately due to workload, but now I've submitted my last assignment, I have nothing to do except sit in denial about my upcoming unemployment and severe debt.

Anywho, I'm trying to catch up over the next couple of days and while Music Month is hardly something I'm going to score highly in, I'm surprised to say I've earned a few of them, starting with the performing on stage badge.

While not exactly Glee type experiences - though I'd love them to be - back when I was naive and didn't care what people thought of me there were a few stage experiences starting from when I was very young. Yes, I'm counting nativity plays. While most of my roles included just being on the stage in my angel costume and singing along with everyone else, in Year 2 I was promoted to innkeepers' wife. Still no lines, but it was the first time being on a stage with less than 10 people. Yeah.

Future nativities - or rather "Christmas Plays" based on the key details of the nativity just involved me sat on the floor at Melksham Assembly Hall as part of the choir. We had some weird shit for our Christmas shows - "Ace" where everyone was a card in the deck (I shit you not), and the king and queen of hearts were waiting for the Ace of hearts to arrive - technically the baby Jesus. There was also "A Spaceman Came Travelling" which I don't remember the full details of, but it was based on that Christmas song by Chris DeBurgh. YouTube it if you wish, but I can't listen to it without being reminded of what idiots the people who thought of doing that premise for a Year 1 nativity were.

My ultimate performance however was in Year 8. Brace yourself. School was doing a talent show, and yes, I'm fully aware I should have known better than to humiliate myself. I had never sang in front of an audience before and made the promise to my Mum she could come watch it if I got through. Ha. I sang Kelly Clarkson's The Trouble with Love from the end credits of Love Actually, a song I still can't listen to without feeling like a massive twat, in front of three teachers and a bunch of other kids who were actually talented. It was shit, we all know it was shit. Even when I got off the stage after finishing what was a complete disaster of a performance I heard one of the teachers say "bless her." It still makes me shudder - not because I found it creepy, but because I feel like a complete idiot. Needless to say I didn't get through, obviously I wasn't going to, and for a while I was gutted. Heh, their loss. Anyway from now on I stick to what I know - singing alone in my flat when no one else is home to Rachel's solos from Glee. That is 100% true.

Lifescouts: Scrabble and Bowling

These two badges aren't really ones that you could get a not so incredibly dull post out of so I've put them together.

First of all, Scrabble. Its not something I love, nor do I constantly play it. But it kills time and is always fun playing with your Mum and step Dad when your Mum has had a few glasses of wine. Also, when you've had a few drinks and you're with friends, how much fun do you get out of doing this?

Ah the joys of getting intoxicated off of three cans of Strongbow when you're sixteen. I'm also aware of the appalling effort that's been made there. We've not even linked them up or anything. But still, I'd love to properly play a game of Swear Scrabble. Although you'd be limited in what you could put down. Maybe change it to Insult Scrabble instead.

So there you have it, that's my Scrabble badge.

Secondly, there's the bowling badge. I used to live a five minute walk away from a leisure centre with a bowling alley, so there was a period of my life where I was there constantly. I never went bowling until I was about 12, and I wasn't very good at it. But between the ages of 13 and 16 it was always the thing to do. Loads of birthday parties were there, we'd go there in half term, not just because there was bowling, but there was a pool table and air hockey and the most awesome thing; a jukebox. Yes, small things, small minds, I'm fully aware. The pic above is an old one, from my 15th birthday party. One of the many many times we ended up at Christie Miller centre. I last went bowling last year when some friends came to visit, and it's safe to say the bowling place here is AWESOME. There's about 20 lanes, the place in general is massive and there's an arcade, with my favourite thing in the world, a DDR machine xD. 

So there you have it, again, my bowling badge. Booya.

Lifescouts: Video Game Badge

While I don't play Call of Duty and various other games that have statistically been linked with children showing aggression (bit of psychology for you there, I used to enjoy the odd video game. I remember the days of longing for Crash Bandicoot on Playstation because all my friends had it - my mum went out with a guy for a while who had it and that was the only reason I liked him, simply because I could sit on it for hours and all the levels had already been unlocked.

I used to love the Dancing Stage or DDR games - the first game I got with my PS1 was Dancing Stage Euromix which I in turn spent hours on at a time. I remember later on for Christmas I got a PS2, but never really had many games for it. The game I got with it was Pop Idol - like The X Factor but with Ant and Dec and everyone in it could actually sing and it wasn't a popularity contest - that was awesome. Like a dance mat game but with the controller. At the time I thought it was the coolest thing ever, but when I was soul crushingly bored a couple of years ago, I sat down to play it and my eyes nearly fell out from boredom.

My favourite PS1 was Sabrina the Teenage Witch: a Twitch in Time - can't remember the overall jist, but I remember if you unlocked a level you'd get to wear a new outfit. I never completed it though because of those crappy boss levels that most PS1 games had.

Having a PS2 was never complete without one game: Singstar. Every Christmas there would be at least 3 on my list and I eventually built up a collection of about 9 of them. At the time it'd be fun playing it alone in your room or when you had a friend round, but now you're older it's only really fun after copious amounts of alcohol on New Year's Eve.

There's probably a few dicks on the internet saying that I've never experienced 'proper' video games because I've never played on an Xbox 360 or a PS3 - those people have probably never experienced 'proper' sex with an actual human being, but I'm not here to judge. The closest 'modern' console I own is the Wii - yes, I know even that's out of date now.

Still, you can't beat a bit of Just Dance on the Wii. Again, something that's more fun after a heavy drinking session, but it's pretty awesome.

But there's one game that is the most awesomest of awesome. And that is The Sims. At the time, the first one was just mind blowing, but by the time the second one came out and they actually AGED = TOTAL MINDFUCK. And then they brought out the third one, where they can be famous and that. I dread to count the amount of hours I've spent on this game, but frankly, I think it's time well spent.

The truth about university by a bitter third year student

Similar to a post I made a couple of months or so ago, but I feel as I coming to the end of my studies - I have another term left and a few weeks of this one, but no lectures, so it's basically over - I should pull together the final list.

Now, I'm all for people getting an education. By all means, fill out that UCAS form to your heart's content, because believe me, your tutors will not keep their traps shut about it. But: if you're a like me i.e. shy, quiet, several issues and find it difficult to make friends, I suggest you read this before you click on the submit button. Forget all the things your older siblings told you: YEAH IT'S AWESOME, I GOT SO WASTED EVERY NIGHT! YEAH! No. If you are me, that does not happen.

So here's my list of what happens at university. Enjoy. Nb. Please take with a pinch of salt - it's not ALL bad ...maybe 60% crap.

1. Attendance isn't mandatory (well it is, but not legally)
Forget all that crap about how you had to attend school because it was the law - it doesn't apply here! And it's wonderful. You don't even have to give an excuse, just, don't turn up. It's awesome. But really, if you're paying for it, you might want to turn up once in a while. Especially if your modules take your attendance into account  for your final grade.

2. You'll realise you have 0% tolerance for 99.9% of people
As definite as death and paying taxes, you WILL work with assholes, and you WILL have some idiots in almost every seminar you go to. And even if you're the most patient person in the world, you won't be after this.

3. Group work is the be-all and end-all
You'd think because you're paying 18 grand of your money that your degree is all about you doing your own work. No. As above, you'll have to work with assholes because you're still apparently 8 years old and get easily distracted if work with people you can actually stand and get on with. And you'll hear "But in the workplace you'll have to work with people you don't get on with" about a thousand times. That's true, but you get paid for that.

4. Your smart phone will be your best friend
All I can say is, if you don't have a smart phone - get one. Facebook, Twitter, Angry Birds, Chalk Ball, Fruit Ninja, Words with Friends, whatever, they will all be seriously overused by the first few weeks when your lectures start to piss you off. Just put it on silent.

5. There are no jobs
The sad truth is this. There are no jobs. Triple dip recession here. Think of this way - how many people study your course? Think about how many people are studying that same course at all the other universities in the country, plus those who study it abroad. That doesn't leave many jobs at all. If you have a part time job at uni, put away some of your wages if you can, and have something lined up for when you leave, even if it's a voluntary job.

6. There will be plenty of people annoyingly smarter than you
It'll happen. You'll be insanely happy over the B you got in your assignment, then the teacher's pet of the group gets an A+. You'll only just have got your dissertation ethics back - with conditions you need to sort out - they'll be almost done with data collection. You can do nothing, apart from silently hate them.

7. There will also be plenty of people who you'll wonder how the hell they got to uni in the first place
The other end of the spectrum, there'll be several people who really shouldn't be at university. Whether they don't know basic stuff you learned at A-level, if they're in third year and still don't know how to reference properly, or even just soul crushingly unorganised they barely meet deadlines, they will be there.

8. For a shy person: First year is hell
Sorry to say this, but if you're shy and don't make friends easily, first year will not be fun. I never went into halls because I don't like fire alarms going off at 5am, aside from other things which is part of my problem. But seriously, if you're studying at a uni nearby and staying at home, it's not gonna be the best year of your life.

9. You'll realise how much you miss school
Teachers being more lenient with deadlines, drawing shit for your coursework and still getting an A, living rent free with your parents where your meals are cooked and your laundry's done, you'll miss school. The only area where uni wins is 1. the fact you can legally drink and 2. the fact attendance is not mandatory.

10. You'll realise how much your mum did for you and that she's awesome
She kept you for 18 years, and suddenly you're on your own. Paying rent and spending your own money on groceries. And cleaning, and cooking, doing laundry, paying bills. My mum did too much for me and I only realised that once coming to uni, it makes you appreciate her even more.

11. You'll realise you're essentially paying for three years of stress and anxiety
Ultimately it comes down to this. All-nighters on assignments, worrying about grades, what you'll do afterwards etc etc causes sheer panic all round. Happy studying!